Day 2: WHEN IT GETS BORING - Part 2.

SELF-FORGIVENESS STATEMENTS:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat they are probably having fun and I’m stuck here with the kids, to exist within and as me.

From within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive the responsibility I have towards my children as a burden, as a boring life and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to at this moment not take my responsibility seriously in terms of doing everything to my best ability so that my children can enjoy the best possible outcome.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that, when I am actually caring for my children from the starting point of boredom, I will actually not be effective in how I handle them and how I respond to their needs.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat of why are they so long out there, when will they come? To exist within and as me. From within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate even more reactions as energy of anger and boredom within myself which then lead to the experience of myself as being bored and impatient.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from the accumulation of energy through my reactions of holding on to this back chat why are they so long out there, when will they come? Lead me to actually living impatience in my moments whereby I felt I should rush through activities with my children so that I can finish fast and be by ‘myself’.

From within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand that, in that moment, I was alone in the room with my children and that there was no way I could be by myself and the perception I created of being ‘alone’ even when my children were with me was just an illusion I created in my mind which actually diverted my attention to my mind and not my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate the emotion of anger and irritation when those that support me with my children and the home were away.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive being away from my children as boring while imagining those that are away from my children as having a lot of fun and leaving me ‘stuck’ with the kids.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand that, my children are my responsibility full time with or without support and hence, rather than reacting to this full time responsibility , I should simply and firmly embrace it completely and care for my children in the best way possible.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that, backchats and reactions should never stand in my way of actually being here for myself and my children for they veil my ability to see reality for what it is and thus affect my potential of really being tHERE for my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see realize and understand that, by rushing through reality with my children, I ended up actually missing the little moments when my children simply needed me to be here and play with them, or communicate with them, or observe their expression in that moment which was actually a separation point between me and my children.  

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my children in the moment when I decided to instead participate in my minds back chats/internal conversations and the reactions thereof where I ended up not paying attention to myself and them/ as myself as all my attention was channeled into and as my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive my responsibility as a mother as less that what it actually is in any given moment and perceiving those that have time to ‘have fun’ as more than.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat I just don’t feel like being with the kids, from within which I generated an experience of boredom which was fueled by the emotions of anger, irritation and impatience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be away from my children because I in this particular moment had felt that I had had enough just being around them throughout.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want support with my children to a point where I can see it is creating some form of unnecessary dependency. From within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within the perception that I must have support from another in order to care for my children effectively not seeing realizing and understanding that this is actually a form of self-sabotage whereby I limit myself in the ways I move and fulfill my responsibility towards myself and as a mother in a way that will support my children and hence myself in the best possible way within the principle of what’s best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage/limit my ability and chance to be/become a mother that offers support to the utmost of my potential to ensure the well-being of those that absolutely depend on me in almost all ways e.g. my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the backchat/internal conversation ‘what a boring day’ to exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have boredom exist within and as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit the experience of myself from within this backchat whereby, I was possessed in the experience of boredom most of the day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush through my reality whereby I did not pay attention to the Nitti gritty details of being there for myself and my children because I felt that, It was boring for me to be existing in such a reality in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use boredom as an excuse to not walk/do my responsibilities to the best of my ability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive reality through the ‘glasses’/veil of boredom which actually limited me from embracing myself and my children unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my physical reality by shifting all my attention into my mind and the creation of boredom thereof which is actually a form of self-limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as boredom since the time I woke up in the morning whereby, I just dint feel like moving myself to begin my daily activities but I had to since I was alone with the kids.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk through my morning activities from the starting point of boredom whereby, I felt like I had to push myself to fulfill my responsibilities in regards to my children and my home instead of simply embracing the moment fully and doing my responsibilities to the best of my ability without reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the statements from my partner as a trigger point for me to begin my day in the reactions of slight anger and the experience of boredom.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually direct myself by moving myself out of the boredom energetic state, from within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become fully possessed within and as my mind as boredom.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand the consequences that my reactions impacted on my children whereby they became agitated, fussy, clingy and whiny because I simply did not stand up and put an end to my participation within the backchats in my mind that lead me to reacting and living boredom.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this moment not stand up and take responsibility absolutely to the point where I remain stable as I interact with my children so that they as well can be stable within the expression of themselves.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to and as one within and as the change I would like my children to emulate/learn from, as the act of standing up for life within the principle of what’s best for all so that they too can stand up for life from within themselves and apply the same principle. From within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize and understand that, I can actually not see and direct myself within my reality effectively from the starting point of thoughts backchats, reactions, perceptions/judgments of a given moment because then I will miss out on considering all people and parts of my reality and hence will not make a decision that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see realize and understand that, I, just like any other parent and adult are the society that set the very example that our children emulate just like our parents and their parents and the previous generations did, be it immediate or secondary and thus it is every parents’ and individual responsibility to ensure that we stand up and change who we are from within whereby we consider what’s best for all and live what’s best for all so that we can pass this on to our children and the generations to come.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate the stability of my physical body to instability when I used the experience of boredom within myself to physically slouch when I walked or sat and when I changed the tonality of my voice to a soft high pitch, when I slowed down the pace of the movement of my body due the heavy feeling I felt within myself as boredom.

 

Day 3: WHEN IT GETS BORING - Part 3,  Self-commitment statements. To be continued.....